Dear Self

*
I've been struggling to rebuild some self-esteem I've lost over the last number of weeks. I'm continually astonished at the fact that even if 5 people are telling you that you did a great job, one person saying that you didn't always echoes so much louder. That voice even begins to transfer over into other areas of your life, and soon you find yourself huddled under blankets, unable to do anything, believing you will already fail.

I tell you, it's been fun times in the life of Cara.

To counteract the voice (which may have started out as someone else's but soon became my own), I've forced myself to reflect every morning on one thing that I did well the previous day, or one positive trait about myself.

Saturday: I completed a difficult part of the knitting pattern for the gift I am giving Scott's cousin's baby. Not only was I capable of persevering, but I am also glad I have the skills to create something from nothing, as money is tight. Hopefully, the gift will be cherished both because it'll be friggin' adorable and because time, energy and love went into it.

Sunday: I ate my vegetables. No, really, it's worthy of praise. I resisted the urge to say: "we don't need veggies" when Scott asked me to help with supper. I didn't even pull my usual "but I'm working on my thesis" when really I'm just figuring out what to wear to my thesis defense. I got my lazy butt off the couch, peeled the carrots, washed the celery, mixed up some dip, and ate the whole bowl ravenously.

Monday: I may have had a slow start to my day, having difficulties making myself get motivated, but I did eventually accomplish what I had set out to do. And even though I didn't believe it was quality work, I believed enough in myself to not immediately delete it and start again. And sure enough, the next morning I re-read it and it was exactly what I wanted it to say.

Tuesday: I interviewed very confidently for a job. I decided it didn't matter if I didn't think I was aptly qualified, they asked me to come in and interview, and I would do the best I could. I felt at ease and comfortable sharing the experience I have, and was honest about my shortcomings.

What do you do to build your self-esteem when it starts to get a little low?

*Alas, this photo was "uploaded by user" so I don't know if she was the creator or if she found it elsewhere. If you know the original source of this photo, please let me know, as I do wish to give credit where credit is due!


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